Why I will not apologise for my baby

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You all know the scene. In a busy public place, full of adults and your baby picks that moment to have the mother of all meltdowns. No amount of soothing or distraction can help. Your baby is crying. You don’t know why and nothing you have tried is working. Your first instinct, after seeing to your little one, is to look around and apologise. Well don’t! You certainly don’t have to.

Sometimes babies cry! Sometimes they get hungry at inopportune times and cry, sometimes they have a nappy explosion when you have just boarded a busy train, and then cry. Sometimes on a plane their ears get sore and they scream for the duration of the flight. Sometimes they are having a bad day, sometimes they are teething, sometimes they are tired. They cry. That is what babies do. That is how they communicate.

We wouldn’t dream of apologising if we were in a busy place and we laugh a little too loudly, or have a noisy conversation with a group of excited friends. We don’t worry when adults get a little tipsy and voices raise slightly in an intimate restaurant. Or if on a busy train someone is talking on their mobile phone or rustling a crisp packet. We may be mildly perturbed but we would not expect them to apologise to the whole carriage, or dish out sweets to their fellow air passengers if it were a plane. We would not look around sheepishly and apologise for something we literally have no control over, so why apologise for your baby?

Guess what, babies cry. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you need to say sorry for that, because you don’t!

I am saddened to see so many mums feel they need to do this, and I did too as a new parent. Even in settings full of children. We imagine people looking over means they are judging. It doesn’t. It is natural when people hear a noise they look to see the source. Some people are just interested, some were in this position last week, last year, 20 years ago. Some are probably feeling sorry for you; some are wondering if they can help. We don’t know what they are thinking.

Babies cry and that is the only way they can voice what they need to say. It is the most natural and normal thing in the world, all parents have been there. Please don’t feel you have to apologise.

*If you enjoyed reading this please do share it with your friends, and check out my Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/rootsandwingsparenting/ I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences so pop by and say hi 🙂

Pink Pear Bear

 

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24 thoughts on “Why I will not apologise for my baby

  1. Hear, Hear! I must admit I used to feel nervous if my eldest acted out in public. I don’t know if it’s the mum of two evolution or the fact my boys are both (almost abnormally lol) extremely well behaved, but I feel in the last year or so I’ve moved beyond caring haha. I don’t apologise for them if they’re loud or crying, I do apologise if my eldest accidentally walks into someone etc. xx #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well said! You are totally right. We feel the need to apologise far too much. I thought it may have just been an Irish thing but I guess it’s a mom thing. I have to consciously remind myself not to apologise sometimes.
    Visiting from #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wouldn’t it be nice to think that maybe people were looking over to see if everything was okay or if you needed help? It is easy to think that people are staring in judgement, but maybe they’re not. Parents shouldn’t feel the need to apologies for their baby crying, it is only natural.

    #MMBC

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I agree. Although we’ve all had times when people have been judging, I have also had a lot of experiences where people have been sympathetic or even complimentary about how I’ve handled a meltdown. Stares don’t automatically mean judgement, and even when they do, who cares? #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely! There will always be people that judge, but who cares. Maybe they have forgotten what it is to be a child or have a child. How nice that people have complemented how you have handled a meltdown! That is very supportive.
      Thanks for your comment x

      Like

  5. I don’t like it when I hear a baby crying and I look around and see a few faces judging the parents. Babies and toddlers are constantly experiencing new surroundings, feelings, emotions and frustrations, they’re going to cry and have tantrums. Every single mother has had to deal with an embarrassing moment with a little one, and I would like to see more people trying to help than judging at a distance. #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You’re so right! I find myself apologising for my kids far too much. I am so tied by my own ideas of social acceptance….although I definitely wouldn’t judge anyone else for having a screaming baby, that any of their more exuberant behaviour has me chiding and apologising away. I must learn to stop as they are actually very good kids. Thanks for linking up with the #bigpinklink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment. I completely relate to that. With my first I apologised all the time! Like you I worried about my social ideals too, but I also wouldn’t have judged anyone else with a crying baby. Good luck with not saying sorry 🙂
      xx

      Like

  7. Good for you! I wrote a funny post on these lines just recently.
    It’s only natural that little ones will cry or have a tantrum whilst out and about. But unfortunately you will always get those type of people who give you the glare. They can shove their look of disapproval up their arse for me! 🙂

    Thanks so much for joining in with #MMBC Hope to see you next week x

    Like

  8. I wish I had read this years ago, I was always apologising, for crying for them being shy and looking away when strangers approached. All new mums should be given this in their take home baby pack from hospital! #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I could agree with this more, though I am always feeling bad for others around us when Emma is crying or kicking up a bit of a fuss. In fact we are flying to Australia in 6 weeks and I am dreading it…but my Dad reminded me the other day that no-one will care at all. It’s so true what you say that we don’t know what people are thinking and shouldn’t feel the need to apologise at all! Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam lovely to have you x

    Liked by 1 person

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