Letter to new mums

new-mummyDear new mummy,

First let me start by saying congratulations! You have a baby! How does it feel being someone’s mummy? What a massive change. You are now on life’s longest and most important apprentice and so far, you are doing a wonderful job. You have brought a life into the world!! You are bloody superwomen and don’t forget that. If you have had a baby, there is nothing you can’t do!!

Unfortunately, I don’t have any words of wisdom, tips or advice, but you may be sick of all that already right?

This is just to say that some days you will cry and you know what, that’s ok!! This is the WORLDS HARDEST job and at times when your baby is crying, or unsettled, or you are exhausted, or your boobs hurt. Or you resent the freedom your partner has being able to leave the house without having someone permanently attached to them, or just because your hormones are all over the place, you will cry. Don’t you beat yourself up about that!

You cry, eat cake and know you may feel like you are getting it wrong, but your tears show you are getting it absolutely right! You care so much that you want to be doing the best job you can, and do you know what, you are.

There will be highs and lows, probably within each hour.

Things change all the time and when they do it is nothing you have done ‘wrong’, babies know their own minds early on. If they decide they don’t like sleep that day, there is probably little you can do to change it. If they want to spend the day eating, they will eat. It has nothing to do with your ability as a parent.

It is easy to compare ourselves, or our babies to others. The truth is no one has all the answers. In fact, no one really has any answers. We all learn on the job, and it’s trial and error.

For anyone struggling, or sleep deprived, or generally feeling guilt or worried about your ability as a parent, I set you this challenge…

Name one thing that you are proud of today? Anything; it could be getting dressed, making it to that group, popping to the shop for milk, making a new mum friend, conquering the world (aka getting your baby to nap). Then hold on to that, and keep reminding yourself that you are doing a wonderful job!

*If you enjoyed reading this please do share it with your friends, and check out my Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/rootsandwingsparenting/ I would love to hear your what you are proud of today so please comment or tell me via Facebook.

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How dirty is too dirty?

too-dirty

This is not what you think… I’m talking about clothes.

Since becoming a mum my standards, when it comes to dirty clothes, have certainly gone down. And not just a bit. Long gone are the days I would whip off an outfit at the mere hint of a mark (by whip off, I mean at home or in private). I would have been mortified at the thought of going out in public in anything less than pristine. These were the same days I would change my bra daily.

Now I live in dirty clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I wash them. It feels like all I do is wash clothes, yet still I can’t seem to spend an entire day in clean clothes. Scrap that, I can’t spend 10 minutes in clean clothes with my children! It started in pregnancy and has escalated ever since. By the third trimester I was so big that I would regularly get stains under my bump, which I of course didn’t see or notice until I changed for bed. I couldn’t believe I had spent the day with food below my bump, or on my trousers and I hadn’t noticed. Now I can’t believe it if I don’t have some kind of stain on me.

Regular marks I am now sporting, or as I prefer to think of it, rocking…

          Snot (not mine) on my shoulders, legs, arms  – how does this stuff get everywhere? I am a human tissue!

          Mud at the tops of my legs from carrying my children with wellies on. I don’t seem to learn and never notice the mud right away.

          Dribble on my lower calves, shoulders and arms (not mine) Bloody teething!

          Food stains. Everywhere. The other day my friend pointed out some dried Weetabix on my back! How?? Probably because my children seem to mistake me on all fours cleaning the floor, for a horse ride and climb on top of me every time I am cleaning.

          Sick. Thank goodness this is now extremely rare but for the first year of my son’s life I had at least some sick on me, often so much that I would carry a spare pair of clothes.

Now, here is the challenge…am I alone? Do you know go out ‘rocking’ some bodily fluid or dirt that a small person created? And how dirty is too dirty? Did you used to go home and change at the first sign of dirt, do you now relax that? Share photos or stories on my Facebook. I’d love to know I’m not the only mummy in dirty clothes.