Letter to new mums

new-mummyDear new mummy,

First let me start by saying congratulations! You have a baby! How does it feel being someone’s mummy? What a massive change. You are now on life’s longest and most important apprentice and so far, you are doing a wonderful job. You have brought a life into the world!! You are bloody superwomen and don’t forget that. If you have had a baby, there is nothing you can’t do!!

Unfortunately, I don’t have any words of wisdom, tips or advice, but you may be sick of all that already right?

This is just to say that some days you will cry and you know what, that’s ok!! This is the WORLDS HARDEST job and at times when your baby is crying, or unsettled, or you are exhausted, or your boobs hurt. Or you resent the freedom your partner has being able to leave the house without having someone permanently attached to them, or just because your hormones are all over the place, you will cry. Don’t you beat yourself up about that!

You cry, eat cake and know you may feel like you are getting it wrong, but your tears show you are getting it absolutely right! You care so much that you want to be doing the best job you can, and do you know what, you are.

There will be highs and lows, probably within each hour.

Things change all the time and when they do it is nothing you have done ‘wrong’, babies know their own minds early on. If they decide they don’t like sleep that day, there is probably little you can do to change it. If they want to spend the day eating, they will eat. It has nothing to do with your ability as a parent.

It is easy to compare ourselves, or our babies to others. The truth is no one has all the answers. In fact, no one really has any answers. We all learn on the job, and it’s trial and error.

For anyone struggling, or sleep deprived, or generally feeling guilt or worried about your ability as a parent, I set you this challenge…

Name one thing that you are proud of today? Anything; it could be getting dressed, making it to that group, popping to the shop for milk, making a new mum friend, conquering the world (aka getting your baby to nap). Then hold on to that, and keep reminding yourself that you are doing a wonderful job!

*If you enjoyed reading this please do share it with your friends, and check out my Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/rootsandwingsparenting/ I would love to hear your what you are proud of today so please comment or tell me via Facebook.

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New mum super powers

supermum-2

Being a mum for the first time is incredible. In my experience, nothing changes your life more. It is terrifying, exciting, momentous and emotional. Not only are you learning to take care of tiny human, a job so huge you wouldn’t imagine you would have time to learn anything else. You are suddenly super women! And as such, will have developed some unique mum super powers….

  • The ability to think of 100 things at the same time and still get on with what you are doing. For example, making sure the change bag is packed and replenished, whilst thinking about baby’s nap, whilst remembering it’s your dad’s birthday, whilst thinking about baby’s next feed, whilst wondering what you might have for dinner. Wow!! It’s amazing, and tiring just thinking about it. We may get ‘baby brain’, but we also get ‘multiple tasking at its best brain’.
  • The ability to not only think all the above, but also hold a conversation whilst doing all of this.
  • Suddenly you can do all the things you used to need 2 hands for, with just one!! You become skilled at doing everything, and I mean everything with one hand, whilst the other is holding baby. You name it, you can do it. Eat, make a drink, go for a wee, hoover, order online shopping, find paperwork, type, call a friend, push a pushchair. Who knew you could do all that one handed?
  • You can eat quicker than you have ever eaten in your life, knowing you may not have long to finish this precious hot meal before you are needed again.
  • You can and are, surviving on less sleep then you probably ever had in your life, and you are still managing to look after your baby! You rock!
  • You can sit for ages looking intently at your baby whilst listening to your friend telling you about her day. You may have lost the ability to maintain eye contact through conversation, but you are still listening and able to respond, whilst meeting your baby’s needs.
  • You have developed a 6th sense, usually at night, you can pre-empt a feed or disturbance even before baby has shown you, just from the quietest noise or tiniest movement.
  • Your reactions are lightning quick, you think something is about to hurt your baby you sweep in immediately – suddenly you have inspector gadget arms and an inbuilt radar for danger. Usually this includes a raider for spotting a toddler who is likely to come a bit too close to your little one.

Basically, new mummy, you are amazing!!

So, when you think that you aren’t doing a great job, or the lack of sleep makes you cry, or you don’t know which way is up, remember you are doing these things EVERYDAY! And probably didn’t even realise it!! Give yourself the credit you deserve, you are doing the most important job of your life 🙂